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Five suspects. One household. Zero remorse.
๐ Operating from an undisclosed location in Texas
๐ง hello@domesticpurrorists.online
[ VIEW MOST WANTED ]โ[ INCIDENT REPORTS ]
๐ธ PHOTO EVIDENCE
[Latest Instagram photo]
๐ฅ SURVEILLANCE FOOTAGE
[Latest TikTok/Reel]
๐จ BREAKING MEWS
[Latest funny update]
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The following individuals are wanted in connection with numerous acts of domestic purrorism.
Alias: [Nickname]
Position: Supreme Commander
Threat Level: ๐ด HIGH
Known For: [Crime / personality]
WANTED FOR:
Unauthorized food acquisition, intimidation of household personnel, conspiracy to obtain additional treats.
Alias: [Nickname]
Position: Director of Covert Operations
Threat Level: ๐ ELEVATED
Known For: [Crime / personality]
WANTED FOR:
Entering restricted cabinets, surveillance operations and disappearing immediately before veterinary appointments.
Alias: [Nickname]
Position: Minister of Chaos
Threat Level: ๐ด SEVERE
Known For: [Crime / personality]
WANTED FOR:
Knocking unidentified objects from elevated surfaces and fleeing the scene.
Alias: [Nickname]
Position: Director of Psychological Operations
Threat Level: ๐ก GUARDED
Known For: [Crime / personality]
WANTED FOR:
Manipulation of household personnel through excessive cuteness.
Alias: [Nickname]
Position: Chief of Intelligence
Threat Level: ๐ ELEVATED
Known For: [Crime / personality]
WANTED FOR:
Monitoring neighborhood birds, insects and suspicious delivery personnel.
Known activities currently include:
๐พ Unauthorized countertop access
๐งป Destruction of government-issued toilet paper
๐ฅฃ Food-bowl related demonstrations
๐ Unexplained 3:00 AM tactical exercises
๐ฆ Illegal occupation of cardboard containers
๐ Surveillance of neighboring wildlife
PUBLIC ADVISORY: Do not attempt to reason with suspects. Treats may temporarily reduce the threat level.
Despite photographic evidence showing approximately 14 pieces of kibble remaining, all five suspects maintain that starvation is imminent.
Status: OPEN
Multiple suspects were observed traveling through the residence at excessive speed.
No apparent destination.
No explanation has been provided.
Status: UNDER INVESTIGATION
One household object was discovered on the floor.
All five suspects deny involvement.
There were no witnesses.
Status: COLD CASE
Have you witnessed suspicious feline activity?
Common warning signs include:
โข Unexplained objects falling from tables
โข Food disappearing without authorization
โข Sudden nighttime running
โข Unauthorized entry into bathrooms
โข Attempted acquisition of human food
โข Suspicious silence
Unfortunately, authorities have determined that prosecution is unlikely.
The suspects are extremely cute.
Department of Feline Affairs & Household Security
๐ Texas Field Office
๐ง hello@domesticpurrorists.online
For media inquiries, collaborations and diplomatic relations with other feline organizations, please contact headquarters.
DomesticPurrorists.online is not affiliated with any local, state or federal government agency.
No cats were arrested during the production of this website.
Several were questioned.
All requested legal representation and treats.
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